


Come Here, Cowboy

by wunderkitt



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: AU typical violence, Accidental Voyeurism, Fluff and Angst, Giving Each Other a Hand, Gun Violence, Gunshot Wounds, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, More nudity than you might think, Morning After, Non-vegan diets, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Saloons and Brothels, Secrets, Sexual Tension, Shady Characters, Soft feelings, We have soft desert smut and dark tantalizing plots for you, Welcome to My Western ShowKi Cult, Wild West AU, sleeping outdoors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:07:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28414386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wunderkitt/pseuds/wunderkitt
Summary: Yoo Kihyun never planned to travel West like this, on the back of some cowboy's horse, but here he is. And despite everything, he finds himself getting dangerously used to Shownu's equal parts gruff and gentle presence. The only problem is, Kihyun has no idea who he's traveling with or the real reason why they actually ended up crossing paths with each other in the first place. Only time will tell.
Relationships: Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 86
Kudos: 51





	1. Dusty Oblivion

It happened so fast. One minute, Kihyun was seated in a stagecoach, being jostled along a rough road with two other men, trying not to develop a headache from the sun and dust, and then the next minute, he was somehow almost dying.

Welcome to the wild west, as they say.

  
+++++

Yoo Kihyun is going west, as most people are these days, and he decided to travel by stagecoach for the biggest leg of the journey. Bad idea. It is hot, smelly, dusty, and rough. The only saving grace is that at least he's not in that blinding sun and heat, and there's a steady breeze coming through the windows. And at least he isn't squished between strangers as he has been many a time before in these things. 

Thankfully, there's only a very small old man sitting on the leather-padded bench seat next to Kihyun, at least an arms-length away. The gentleman is sharply dressed and old enough that he was able to fall soundly asleep, despite the horrific bumps and jerks of the ride. No, this passenger poses no threat and will cause Kihyun no trouble.

The wild card is the imposing figure across from them, manspreading his thick, strong thighs across the seat he has all to himself. His skin is tanned from outside work, his muscles evident under his dusty clothes, and his hooded eyes never look up from under his hat.

Kihyun has tried not to stare at him, but really, there's nowhere else to look, and reading his small book earlier made him queasy so he had to put it down. So while the bigger man remains focused on whittling something in his lap (a pretty dangerous hobby while bouncing along like this), Kihyun lets his eyes wander.

The man is tall and well built, it's something. Judging from his attire he's a hired hand or laborer of some sort. The stranger moves one of his legs backward, and the spur of his boot scraping loudly against the carriage wakes Kihyun up from his staring. Being almost caught gaping has him flustered as he looks out the window. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the man as he just keeps whittling, shaving the chips off onto the floor. They swirl with the wind movement and collect in the corners. Kihyun’s annoyed and he frowns at the man across from him.

_How messy, and inconsiderate._

+++++

After another hour or so of trying to rest, interspersed with rubbing his back from the soreness and daydreaming, Kihyun's attention snaps back to the present.

_What's that sound?_

There are low, methodical thumping sounds approaching them and then everything happens so fast. Even though Kihyun doesn't understand what he's hearing, his stomach clenches tight, making him feel sick. Then -

**_Bang! Bang! Bang!_ **

Shots ring out as a group of men on horses start gaining on the coach, riding alongside them.

"They're _shooting_ at us!" Kihyun yells, immediately cowering back into the corner, looking out the windows in terror.

The tall stranger has jumped up and crouched near one of the windows, his pistol in hand, eyes steeled and jaw set. The horses are braying, the coach jerks and veers dangerously. The movements finally wake up the old man who is sputtering and holding onto the beams of the coach now, terrified.

The attack is messy, chaotic, and so very violent. It's Kihyun's nightmare, honestly, when he set off on this trip two days ago.

Shots keep ringing in his ears, and everything is a loud, traumatic blur that never seems to end. Never in his life has he been so scared and felt so helpless. _They were sitting ducks in this blasted box on wheels,_ he realizes angrily.

The stranger is taking his own shots back at the bandits, causing most of them to peel back and gallop away. There's still one riding along with them, frightening the horses, who are yanking the carriage all over the place and threatening to tip the whole thing over. One horse and rider is still tearing up dust beside them.

 ** _Bang!_ ** a bullet tears through the walls of the coach and smacks the old man in his chest. Kihyun watches in horror as the tiny man's eyes grow wide, he clutches his chest, gasping, and then topples over to the floor with a sickening thud.

"Get down!" the taller man yells at Kihyun and shoves him to the floor as he leans out and fires back. There's a braying sound and then a thud as the bandit's horse and he falls to the earth. But the carriage is still going full ahead, the horses spooked and unreined. Kihyun's face is wet, and he's sickened by the feeling of the old man's dead body jostling him on the floor of the coach. 

The strange leans down and yells at him, "Stay here!" and then he's out the open door and climbing up towards the front. After a few more moments, the carriage slows down, and over the sudden quiet, Kihyun can hear the stranger's "Woah, _woah_... there now, woah" to the horses, and their grunting, wet breathing from running so hard.

When they finally stop and it's just the stagecoach, Kihyun, the horses, and the dead body of the old man, it's creepily quiet. With the sun beating down on him and having calmed the horses enough, the man goes back and opens the door again. 

Inside, he can see the smaller man, crumpled in the opposite corner, crying, obviously terrified, and gaping at the body next to him.

But they both have bigger problems. Ignoring all politeness, the stranger steps up, grabs Kihyun's arm, and drags him from where he is frozen up from the floor. Realizing the smaller man isn't able to stand, he pulls him out from the stagecoach by hauling his body out under one of his big arms. Kihyun yelps in pain, still shaking, and then he gets set down and collapses to the ground into the dirt.

He looks up at the other man, hiding behind the coach, looking to see if their attackers are actually gone for good. The taller man had immediately switched from a laid back, relaxed attitude earlier to an alert, a skilled fighter right now. Kihyun thinks, _he must have experienced this before_ , as he sits in the dust, embarrassed by the tears rolling down his face.

"We can't stay here, they might come back," Kihyun hears him spit out, body tense.   
He flicks open his knife and cuts the ropes holding up what's left of the luggage, letting it all tumble down. He hurriedly starts rolling things into a blanket and buckling items to two saddles that someone had strapped to the back.

 _I should help,_ Kihyun thinks and leans a hand on the carriage steps to try to stand up, suddenly very dizzy. He watches the man as he goes to the front to unhitch the two horses. Kihyun opens his mouth to ask what he can do to help, but he stops when his chest hurts and he looks down and sees…. _blood?_

Gripped by terrible realization, he reaches down and touches the damp, messy hole in his suit above his armpit. Red, red blood coats his fingertips.

"Oh fuck..."

Then he looks up to see the stranger's utterly shocked expression as he immediately drops the reins he’s holding. The man starts to move towards him, words coming out of his mouth, but it's all so muffled and Kihyun can’t make anything out, and the sky starts spinning and melting, and then Kihyun’s vision goes white. 


	2. Warm Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Damn, is it going to be hard to fall asleep like this."  
> Sharing is caring; even and especially with strangers you just met.

+++++

It's nighttime when Kihyun finally comes to and all he can see are the stars scattered between the tall upwards spikes of pine trees. He hears crickets, a crackling fire, and something else. Slowly turning his head sideways, he sees a hazy image of that tall man from the stagecoach earlier, stirring something in a small pot on the side of the fire.

"Hey..."

The man's head flicks up and over to him, eyes immediately taking everything in.

"You're up."

He sets down the spoon on a stone and walks over. He's looming over Kihyun laying on his back on the bedroll, making him uneasy and unsure of where to look.

Then he crouches down, balancing with a knuckled hand pressing into the blanket under Kihyun.

"I know you probably shouldn't move, but I think eating will be more important.."

Kihyun nods dumbly, still sleepy.

"We don't know when we'll have food again, so here -"

The man leans over a surprised Kihyun and puts his strong hands under the other’s neck and around his waist, hauling him upwards and sideways to lean against a log next to his blanket. The action was so smooth like Kihyun weighed nothing at all, and it makes his face heat up.

Kihyun goes to take a breath and instantly regrets it.

"Ahh _ohhh ff_.." Everything hurts. 

Kihyun looks down and sees a rough cotton bandage wrapped around his bare chest, his nipples stiff from the open air. There are remnants of old blood smeared across his chest and down his belly. He's grateful this stranger pulled him away from that dangerous mess, but still on edge, cautious.

"Thank you," Kihyun remembers to say, although he can barely look at him, "I don't even know your name." 

"It's Son Hyunwoo, but everyone jus' calls me Shownu."

"Shownu, " Kihyun repeats, "well... thank you. I'm sure you saved my life today."

Shownu just nods, still kneeling next to him on the blanket, eyes indiscernible in the firelight. 

Kihyun smiles, pushing himself up by his hands, wincing, and then offers a hand,

"I'm Yoo Kihyun". Shownu blinks at his outstretched hand a little and then grasps the small hand in his own tanned, larger one, shaking it once before letting go. 

He stands up and moves away to check the pot.

"I know it's shitty circumstances, but we'll be alright. Let’s get you some of this" he gestures to the pot, “and then you rest. We're a long way from Sacramento an there's a lot of riding to do, unfortunately".

Kihyun nods still from dazed from the events of earlier, and from the shock of waking up half-naked, bandaged by a fire with a stranger.

Despite all that, there’s an immediate familiarity between them, probably due to almost dying together, that almost makes Kihyun want to breathe a sigh of relief if his chest didn't hurt so much. _I got lucky,_ he realizes, watching the other man stir what must be dinner for them.

+++++

Shownu ends up feeding Kihyun, one spoonful at a time, despite strong early protests that he could manage it. He couldn't and cried out in pain when he tried to lift his arms to grasp a bowl and spoon. 

Shownu's face is too close, and being fed is far too intimate, but what can Kihyun do? There's no one else here to judge and he's infinitely tired and too hungry to care.

So he lets this stranger wipe his chin when soups dribbles down it, even though he hopes the ground will open up and swallow him. 

And he lets warm hands pull a clean shirt onto him. Fingers brushing his skin every now and then, making him jump, and wince.

And he doesn't protest when he gets helped to his feet to go answer the call of nature. (But he does strongly insist he can manage that process himself, mortified at the opposite reality playing out.)

No, he just lets it all happen. Because he's tired. So, so tired. And injured. And because this stranger is kind.

+++++

Kihyun didn't realize he had closed his eyes, leaning against the log next to Shownu. He also didn't realize he let out a groan until he hears Shownu's low voice break the silence.

“T’ hurt?”

“Hm?”

Kihyun’s eyes pop open and then he assures the other, “Oh, yeah. It does...but I’ll be..fine. It's alright.”

Shownu leans back, satisfied with that response, and keeps smoking his cigarette.

_He must have had done a good job of cleaning the wound while I was unconscious. He must have had experience with gunshot wounds before. None of this seemed as terrifying to him as it did to me..._

Kihyun knows he's lived a sheltered life, but he can only imagine what the other has seen and maybe ...had to do.

Which reminds him. As he plucks at the wool blanket under him, he gets up the nerve to cautiously ask -

"What - what happened to..." Kihyun 's voice breaks, hands shaking a little, "..him?"

_The poor old man._

Shownu sucks in a slow breath, and replies, "I took care of 'im. As best I could, while you were out."

"Oh."

+++++

There's only one bedroll that was grabbed in the chaos. Which means, unless one or the other of them wants to freeze or sleep on the ground, they have to share it.

Which leads to the present moment. Somehow, they silently came to an agreement.

Kihyun’s heart pounds in his chest as he lays flat in their makeshift bed next to the fire. Carefully, the big, slightly musky cowboy sidles up and lays down on his side next to him to sleep. He's a few inches away, small as the blanket under them is, but Kihyun can still feel the heat coming off of the larger man's body all the same.

The fire and the thin wool blanket help knock off the evening chill seeping out from the pine forest behind them, but it’s not a lot. Soon Shownu's eyes are already closed and his breath is ghosting out over Kihyun's neck and face.

Kihyun shivers and clenches his hands at his sides. He’s glad to have at least some warmth to sleep, thanks to his new traveling companion, and he’s too tired to be difficult about the sleeping arrangement but _damn, is it going to be hard to fall asleep like this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very much in love with this vibe, folks.
> 
> If you can't tell, I've been watching a lot of Westerns lately. So much so, I was dreaming in Westerns!  
> What better to do with all that creative energy than spin a dusty, soft yarn about a strong silent type and a gentle nervous type. Tailor-made for ShowKi, if ya ask me. 
> 
> enjoy xx


	3. Hold On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the record, it wasn't hard at all for Kihyun to fall asleep like that. If you were just shot that day and then laying next to a human heater, you'd be out like a light too.

+++++

Kihyun wakes up because the soft, warm object he's nuzzled into is trying to move away from him.

_Wait, come back here..._

Turns out, after opening his eyes slowly and seeing plaid flannel no more than two inches from his face, that thing was Shownu trying to move.

In the crisp, dawn early light, he realizes too late that he had somehow nestled himself against Shownu's chest and slept clutching his shirt last night. And the stranger's arm is laid over the top of him, pinning him down.

Kihyun jerks himself back and winces, pain shooting through his chest.

"Shit! Ah, I'm so sorry... I uh- didn't -" he stammers as he tries to move from under Shownu's arm but has to stop from pain.

A deep laugh vibrates into him, the air moving his hair, and then -

"S fine, honestly. Kept me warmer too." There's a smirk there, he knows it, even though Kihyun can't see it. 

Shownu finally lifts his heavy arm off of him, and Kihyun rolls over onto his back with a moan, closing his eyes again, trying to breathe through the pain.

"Mmn, still hurts. Yep, I got shot yesterday..." he mumbles.

He immediately wishes he could hide his face, as he feels his cheeks heat up and feels Shownu's gaze stuck to him where he lays. 

_Just can't catch a break..._

+++++

Shownu had snagged two of the horses yesterday, apparently. Kihyun sees them blissfully munching on some grass clumps a few yards away, their reigns tied down between them.

Shownu is collecting up their things, looking over to the smaller man standing rather dazed staring off into the distance.

Kihyun is wearing Shownu's spare shirt, and it's oversized on him. The crisp, white cotton is tucked into his trousers, and a few buttons are open at the neck. It makes him look smaller than he already is. It's a bit adorable, especially with that bedroll bedhead.

The sight of this stranger in his big shirt again this morning did something funny to Shownu's stomach, just as it had when he watched the shirt swallow Kihyun’s smaller, paler, and bandaged torso last night.

Despite being injured - or maybe _because_ of that too - it makes the man look... vulnerable. Almost ... _breakable._ Like the unforgiving expanses of this place could swallow him up.

It’s not like he didn’t already pause from seeing Kihyun’s small, pink-nippled bare chest when he ripped the clothes off of him to bandage him after he passed out. His hands may have even stroked down the smaller’s sides for a moment after he had staunched the bleeding, amazed that he could almost wrap his fingers all the way around ( _how can a full-grown man be this small?_ )

Shownu can't lie to himself. He had found a surprising bit of pleasure in the stark contrast between his own darker, rough hands and the pale, soft skin stretched over Kihyun's ribs for a split second...

... ~~but Kihyun would never know that.~~

+++++

Shownu shrugs off those kinds of useless, although interesting, thoughts to ask him, "Can you ride?"

 _Ah...that,_ Kihyun realizes, "I can't." He kicks the dirt, embarrassed.

"Maybe you can teach me real quick?" 

Shownu just frowns, shaking his head, “Nope, we don' have time for that."

Kihyun watches Shownu gently rub the red horse’s nose, then unbuckle his bridle and staddle, letting both drop to the ground, and with a yell and a slap to its flank, the horse is off. 

Kihyun instinctually jumps to run after it, ignoring the sharp stab in his chest, "Wait! Wait, why did you -!?" 

Shownu steps sidewise and puts an arm out to him, holding it against his stomach.

"Let it go-"

"W-why?"

_Why did he have to go and do that?_

+++++

Kihyun is standing in the yellow morning light at the edge of the clearing just gaping at the red horse's silhouette slowly disappearing across the meadow. Something about releasing a healthy, broken-in horse into the wild like that feels just...wrong.

His confusion and unease are interrupted by Shownu's heavy steps and the jingle of his spurs behind him. He's leading the other black horse up to join Kihyun at the edge of the woods, already saddled and strapped with their things. 

Kihyun looks over at the tall man in the morning light. His hat, boots, holster, and vest are back on him and he looks imposing. His piece glints in the sun, sitting heavy against the stranger's hip.

 _Best not argue or ask questions,_ Kihyun realizes.

"He'll be fine, come on," Shownu says gently. He drops the reigns for a moment, and steps closer -

 _Oh this again, goddammit,_ Kihyun's body stiffens as the other man turns him towards the horse, and wraps two warm hands around Kihyun's waist like he's going to lift him - 

“Wait wait _wait_ -” he spits out, panicked. It's been a long time since he's tried to mount a horse and he knows, with his wound, this is gonna hurt like hell.

Shownu lets go, just resting his hands loosely over Kihyun's shirt, waiting.

Defeated but now ready to steel himself for this process, Kihyun presses his foot into the stirrup, painfully lifts his uninjured arm to grab the saddle horn and says, "Ready.."

And with the older man's help, Kihyun's body gets swung up and into the saddle seat.

"Ss-shit," Kihyun pants out, dizzy from the inevitable jab of pain that movement gave him. He slides his eyes over to look down at Shownu, who looks concerned.

"Y'alright?"

"Mm-" is all Kihyun can get out, as he looks ahead, eyes slightly wet.

 _Poor kid,_ Shownu thinks.

Now it's the bigger man's turn to join him. Shownu flips the reigns gently over the horse's head, never letting go of them, reaches up to grab the hard knob between Kihyun's legs, shoves his boot into the empty stirrup, and lifts his body up behind Kihyun's. Shownu's torso is pressed against Kihyun's back and his arms are now framing the smaller man. There's that heat again.

_This is so..._

_... dammit, whatever,_ Kihyun gives up mentally, closing his eyes for a moment. Shownu jostles him as he settles in close and rearranges the reigns a little, causing the horse to step sideways. 

"Woah, woah there -"

Kihyun realizes that now he can not only _hear_ Shownu's deep voice in his ear but _feel_ in through their chests touching.

_He's... too close. I can't -_

The horse is still getting used to the weight of them both, unsettled and it feels precarious and uncomfortable, so Kihyun grabs at the horn to try and scoot forward but it only causes him to let out a sharp breath in regret. 

"Ouch.."

Shownu just hums his disapproval and uses the arm not holding the reigns to pull Kihyun back against him, shirt to shirt, again.

 _No...I was trying to prevent this..._ Kihyun moans internally.

Shownu, seemingly oblivious to the other man's distress, not being able to see his face just says -

"Y'should try not to move too much. I got ya."

and with that, Shownu holding Kihyun against himself in the saddle, they set off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up...how could it not? So much infuriating cowboy body-heat! Enough to make a tiny, pampered man cry; tha's right. I've got a couple more chapters in the works. Thank you for loving this story, folks! If a story gets posted to the internet and it never gets read, it's like it never existed right? Well, you guys are making this one real. Cheers.


	4. Travel Companions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riding. It can be a perfectly benign or very much not-so-benign activity.  
> But in the warm, long daylight, the two men ride further West regardless, because they must.

+++++

They continued riding for most of the morning without stopping.

Shownu would occasionally switch which hand was holding the reigns, moving one arm to replace the other on Kihyun's torso, and letting the cool, Colorado air brush against the spot just for a moment. Every time, it made Kihyun's skin goosebump, before the cool patch was replaced by a firm, gloved hand again.

Kihyun is glad he had let the man tuck a hat onto him this morning, despite feeling like a pitiful child while he did so because that sunlight is getting damn bright. Kihyun knows he burns easily, so he's grateful for the protection, but he doesn't know whose hat this is and tries not to think about it.

The more time he spends out here the more he realizes, _sometimes you just have to let things go._

Eventually, after a couple of mildly torturous hours alone with his thoughts as they ride silently, they approach the edge of a long meadow and Shownu slows the horse down to a stop.

It's a chance for a much-needed break to stretch, relieve themselves, and let the horse eat a little while they consume a few bites of their rations as well.

Kihyun becomes mortified and shy enough to stumble off into the bushes for his own business because Shownu had only just slightly turned away from him and whipped it out before letting a loud stream hit the ground. It made Kihyun feel angry for a moment _he's so brazen, careless,_ but also... something else.

Coming from a proper, conservative family with only three sisters, he's very much unused to such things. It makes his face burn more than it already feels like it is.

Several yards away, it takes a little more time and relaxing for him to start peeing, but finally, he does, and after painfully managing to button back up, Kihyun stumbles over grass clumps while walking back over.

Shownu is standing beside the horse, drinking water from the leather pouch, a few droplets running down his chin to his neck, wetting his shirt.

Kihyun gulps, still a few yards away now, and then can't seem to look away as Shownu reaches down nonchalantly and adjusts what looks to be his sizable package in his tight, tan canvas trousers. 

_Jesus..._

+++++

Later after riding for hours with the stranger's body constantly bumping into him, his torso pressed firmly into his back, something builds up in Yoo Kihyun. He feels it coming.

He's been forced to be constantly smelling (sweat, dirt, campfire smoke, and something else, something very _male_ ) and feeling the other man, and it's... a lot.

Big, gloved hands clasped up front, a solid, too hot torso behind, the horses hard, smooth saddle pressing _up and up and up_ against him underneath...

Kihyun can't stop it.

He shudders once, _hard_ , before he can suppress it.

Unfortunately for him, Shownu obviously feels it too.

"Y'cold?"

_Shit shit shit..._

"Ah, no - no, I'm fine," he replies, a little shaken. He's acutely aware that there's no other excuse, as it's nice and warm out now. But there's no way to explain what just happened to him so he stays silent.

Shownu is probably confused but just shifts them both a little and responds anyway-

"Well, hang in there. We're stopping soon anyway. Just gotta find a good spot."

 _Someone help me,_ Kihyun asks the universe.

At this rate...

Oh, cowboy.

+++++

As promised, find a good spot he did. Shownu led them to a small clearing a dozen yards from the edge of a clear river lined with round river stones. There are a few smooth, water-buffed logs for sitting and tall bushes for privacy and shade. It's perfect and looks like heaven right now.

After tying up the horse to eat and getting it water from the river to drink from the pot, Shownu stands in the clearing assessing.

"Fire'll go here," he motions to a low point in the dirt, "and we'll bed down here I guess," he motioned to a patch of soft river sand a yard behind.

Kihyun nods and watches Shownu start getting down the bedroll and bags to set them on the logs.

_We'll sleep together again..._

Kihyun is resigned by now but also more nervous, being much more aware of himself and his surroundings today.

He looks over and sees that Shownu has started unbuttoning his vest. Kihyun eyes widen, and he turns away.

_It's still light out. Why is he...?_

Unsure why the other man is stripping, he pretends to be very interested in _Huh, what kind of bushes are these?_

He hears Shownu groan a little from stiffness as he drags his shirt over his head. Then -

"How's the arm?"

Kihyun replies quickly, "Better. Yeah.. thank you.."

Shownu hums, and adds, "Remind me to change the bandage for ya tonight."

Kihyun can't stop the flood of images that comes to mind, but he manages to choke out softly -

"Alright."

Then there's a sound of boots being kicked off, a clink of a belt being tossed and a few moments later, Kihyun is pretty sure the other man must be standing buck naked a couple of feet behind him. So, like a blushing maiden, he keeps staring at the bushes, fully clothed, while his traveling companion gathers up his clothes and sets them on a log.

"You comin'?"

Those two words make him - embarrassingly - jump out of his skin and trip forward into the bush.

_Coming? Where? Over there? Uh-uh...no way..._

Kihyun's voice cracks a little when he responds, "W-what?”

Shownu just chuckles once, kicks the sand at his feet, and replies -

"To wash up? The waters nice and clear, and I'm sure you’re used to bein’ cleaner than this."

_So I must stink. Just great._

Maybe he's also referencing Kihyun’s initial stagecoach traveling outfit, a three-piece pinstriped dark blue traveling suit and his smoothed backcombed hair, and a dark wool hat. He _used_ to be clean and nice-smelling.

Yes, Kihyun was _very much_ unused to being this grimy as the youngest son of a well off East coast family, but he was also _much more_ unused to being around a ripped, naked cowboy that makes his blood run hot for some torturous reason. 

Kihyuns traitorous mind suddenly gives him - very much unbidden - an image of Shownu's thick muscled body, all wet, with dripping hair, tanned arms and abs rippling, as he stands hip-deep in some creek water, crotch just invisible under the swirling currents around his waist.

Kihyun makes a small choking noise, then clears his throat and says, as casually as he can muster it -

"Nah, you go first. I'm a bit tired, might lay down for a while... I'll go later."

Shownu just says, "Suit yourself," and then Kihyun can hear the gravel crunching under his feet as he walks down to the water.

And that's how Kihyun ends up laying flat on his back in the grass next to their new campsite, listening to his traveling companion wade into the water and come up splashing, and then groan loudly in satisfaction in a river on the other side of some bushes.

With his face growing hot, as always, purely against his will, Kihyun lays an arm across his eyes and sighs.

_Why is this happening to me?_

He can't help but wonder.

+++++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm procrastinating on my actual writing day job. Ah well... I write my best copywriting before a deadline anyway, so let's keep steeping ourselves in this heady, sunshine-soaked daydream, shall we? I'm starting to feel like it's really coming together. Now if only I had a film production company...
> 
> Here's what [an actual old western saddle](https://www.americancowboy.com/.image/ar_1:1%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_1200/MTQ2NTMxNTc4ODIwOTYxMzEx/erwin-smith-photograph.png) looked like, if you're curious. And a "piece" referred to someone's gun, their pistol, if you felt a tad confused during that moment in the previous chapter.


	5. Smoky Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nature is full of curves, twists, and bends. Not many actual lines. But there are some very real lines starting to bend between the two of them and it's setting everything else on edge.

+++++

Kihyun waits until dusk to bathe in the river, against Shownu’s better advisement.

"I don't think it's a good idea."

Kihyun wouldn't look at him, back stiff, as he carefully picked up a make-shift cloth for use as a towel to dry off later.

"I hear you, but I, uh -" Kihyun sighs, still turned away from Shownu, " - I'll be just fine, I promise."

Again Shownu is forced to say, "Suit yourself," even though his stomach twists up in worry as he says it.

What the smaller, more inexperienced man doesn't understand is that it _is_ very dangerous. It always is, stripping down and being vulnerable like this in the wild; but especially so as the sun sets. There are many more evening dangerous elements to consider, least of all the very real possibility of losing your footing in the dark and being dragged into a river's undertow with no one to help you.

But the other man is being oddly insistent, so Shownu gives up, of sorts, and lets him wait until the sun had almost slipped behind the distant treeline before he gets ready.

 _He's naive, and a little foolish_ , Shownu realizes.

+++++

A few minutes later a scene starts to play out.

Despite feeling like a goddamn creep for doing so, Shownu is crouching behind a line of thicker bushes a half a dozen yards away and watching Kihyun disrobe on the riverbank.

It doesn't look great, truthfully, but there's no one there to stop him. He's concerned and this is the only solution when the other party won't listen to reason.

Now clothes are falling to the still warm river rocks on the bank. Kihyun's letting out a few small, pained grunts (making Shownu’s chest clench), from soreness in his arm, but then it's quiet again. The only sound is the water tumbling over the rocks on the edge.

When Kihyun’s nude, pale body comes into view, illuminated by the evening sliver of the sun reflecting on water, the hair on the back of Shownu's neck stands up.

_Fuck._

Immediately, he jerks his head up, looking at the stars, feeling numb and spooked.

_He’s a man, why am I - ?_

Shownu refuses an answer that floats up to his mind for that dangerous question and instead shakes his head to clear it.

Then he’s back, pulling the small leather pouch from his chest pocket and flicking out a cigarette he rolled earlier. He lights it up, inhaling slowly, then lets a smoky breath out and looks back through the leaves to the river.

He has to concentrate on making sure his smaller companion doesn’t get swept away and drown. That's the whole point of this damn stunt.

But why the hell does this man look _like a goddamn merman or somethin'_ glistening in the low purple evening light. Kihyun's relaxed now, slipping around in the water, clearly enjoying himself, and floating in the gentle current nearest to the bank. 

Because Kihyun has no idea that he has an audience, he takes his sweet time getting clean. Shownu's legs are starting to tingle like they might fall asleep, but he daren't move, for fear he's found out. _And that just can-not happen..._

After a long while, and taking several unnecessary dunks underwater that made Shownu nervously lean forward each time, Kihyun wades up near the shore.

The water is still up to his thighs, and his back is turned to his hidden observer, but his ass is visible just above the current all the same.

Then he does something unexpected and unthinkable.

Kihyun arches his back and reaches one hand behind him.

Shownu loses his breath, almost choking on cigarette smoke.

He doesn't understand what he's seeing at first.

_The fuck is he doin'?_

Most men just let water "get to" those areas to clean them, not wanting to dig any fingers anywhere they normally do not fucking go.

But apparently, Shownu realizes like a lightning bolt struck him, _not this man_.

No, Kihyun's petite body is twisted as he repeatedly splashes up clean water and then gently, slowly follows it with his hand between his legs.

It's, well... _something_.

Especially seeing it happen in what feels like slowed down time silhouetted against the glittering river and saturated dusky landscape.

And now Shownu’s crotch is a bit too tight for his current, shameful crotching position.

_I respect the need to clean oneself thoroughly, but shit..._

+++++

Several excruciating moments later, Kihyun finishes up rinsing his hands in the current and steps onto the bank, sighing.

Shownu’s fingers have crushed his almost burned out cigarette, the embers dropping unsmoked to the sand below.

After Shownu wakes up and sees Kihyun start to put his clothes back on, he silently but hurriedly returns to camp before him.

The last thing he does before Kihyun makes it back, and after stirring the fire back to life, is to run a shaky hand over his face and then tug the seam of his pants looser.

Both of their faces are burning for different reasons as Shownu slowly sits down next to Kihyun on the log. He has a clean bandage ripped from an old shirt in his hands and looks at the injured man, asking for permission silently.

Kihyun understands and turns his body towards him, using his other arm to nudge the loose shirt, letting it fall off his shoulders.

Maybe Shownu's hands shook slightly as he gently unwound the damp cloth from around that smaller chest, but maybe not.

Maybe Kihyun's skin tingled whenever the other man's hands brushed against it, but maybe not.

Who knows.

All they both know is,

_Hopefully, he didn't... see anything._

_Hopefully, he didn't... see anything._

+++++

Later, after a lean dinner of some dried meat and tough bread that's more like a thick, inedible cracker, they get ready to sleep.

It’s just the fire, the sky, the river, and the two of them now. All the daylight critters have snuck off to their nests and it's real peaceful.

Kihyun is now lying sleepily on the bedroll, hands tucked under his head, gaze unfocused towards the fire. 

_His shoulder must hurt a bit less now,_ Shownu thinks observing the position of his arms. He's still sitting on a log opposite and he keeps stirring the fire while chewing on a piece of grass for a good long while.

Eventually, he hears a quiet -

“Are you..”

_...coming to sleep?_

Kihyun is looking at him, eyes unreadable across the top of the orange flicks of the fire. 

“Yes,” Shownu responds a little too curtly, and stands up abruptly, looking out to the woods.

“Just gonna...go get some more wood real quick."

He seems to forget he did that earlier and there's a not-small pile a few feet away from him.

Kihyun's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, but he just replies -

“Oh. Right...”

“Sleep,” Shownu says more gently, eyes still looking out between the dark trees, and then he walks away.

Kihyun feels like he missed something, but the chill and exertion of swimming in the cold creek have him feeling so fuzzy and warm wrapped in the blanket next to the fire.

 _Let it go_ , he reminds himself.

And so he dozes off fairly quickly after Shownu leaves. 

+++++

Much later, Shownu quietly steps back into camp. He stirs the fire and adds a stick or two before he sits on the log next to the bedroll.

After some kind of internal struggle, he finally looks down over his shoulder at the smaller man laying there. Kihyun is breathing softly, face relaxed, his body curled into itself.

Kihyun’s features are lit up by the glow from the fire, his softer jawline and lips catching the firelight and his fine brown hair curling around his ears and over his neck.

 _He's... attractive,_ Shownu realizes, but too tired to bother pursuing the implications of the thought. 

As the younger stranger still sleeps, he starts removing his boots. Then he lifts the edge of the blanket and lowers his body down, before carefully tucking them both back in.

+++++

What Shownu doesn’t know is that Kihyun had smelled cigarette smoke while he was bathing.

Whether it drifted over from camp or it came from a closer source, he wasn't exactly sure.

But he _is_ fairly sure what Shownu was doing in the woods just now because he comes back (without any extra wood) smelling like something very _private_ and heady. A scent Kihyun instantly recognizes as a man as well. 

It makes Kihyun feel a little hazy, truthfully. He had gotten half-hard in the river earlier after he realized he might have been watched.

But like Shownu, he tries not to think about it.

Instead, they both just suppress all of these strange, useless feelings that don't contribute to their survival and just sleep, letting their bodies' heat soak into each other and their measured breaths ghost over one another. 

These are problems for another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I'm a goner. I want to live in this world. It's a bit painful hah...  
> How is it? Thoughts, feelings, emotions? 
> 
> Also, everyone understood that the big, pent-up cowboy went and jacked off in the woods, right?   
> Yes?   
> Good, okay moving on lol...
> 
> But seriously, you guys spoil me with your comments and kudos. I'm having fun if it wasn't already obvious.
> 
> Also, I miss Colorado and camping under the stars. I have my own memories of charged and soft moments forever burned in my mind of nights spent next to rivers under the stars. Oh my... now I'm blushin'..
> 
> Unfortunately, I've got a deadline coming up for work-work, so I might be a little slower with the next few chapters, but they'll be here soon. Thanks for reading. xx


	6. Blazing Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is so damn oppressive now. The heat. The sun. The stranger.  
> Just... everything. Kihyun wonders what he did to the universe as he tries to remember how to breathe, more than once.

+++++

After some time riding hard and long in the hot sun the next day, taking breaks to sit under trees or stopping to refill their canteen when they find water, they found a place to stop by a river winding through a grassy prairie. There are a few trees lining the water which looks deep enough to maybe have a fish or two. It's been a while since they had something to eat except a few berries along the way and the rest of their dry tack and water.

Shownu always gets down from behind first and then helps Kihyun down, still not trusting him enough not to fall flat on his face off the horse like he almost did earlier this morning. Now that the smaller man's arm is slightly better, he moves around a lot more in the saddle, always trying to scoot away from Shownu, upsetting the horse and annoying Shownu.

They hadn't actually bickered, but it felt like they did. Or maybe it was the sun and heat getting to them. Who knows. It's a good thing they stopped to unstick themselves from each other and the staddle and let everyone rest. The combination of sweat, nerves, thirst, and hunger was becoming a little much for both of them.

After refilling their leather canteen and taking turns taking big gulps from it, they're lounging in the shade laying underneath one of the big, old sycamore trees while the horse grazes. The deep shade is cool and the warm breeze coming off the prairie is nice. Shownu feels peaceful and starts to let himself relax.

"Hey...what's that?"

Kihyun's voice prompts Shownu to flick his hat back and squint over at him.

"What's what now?"

"That," he says, slightly annoyed, and the tall man follows the other's finger up to the branches above.

"Oh, a nest of some sort I suppose," and tips his hat back over his face, arms crossed over his big chest again. 

_Never any shut-eye with this fella around huh..._

Eventually, after strong opposition from the wiser, more experienced party Kihyun insists, like an idiot, on climbing up to see if there's anything in the nest and if so what kind of birds they are. Resigned, Shownu has sat up and leaned his arms over his knees, just watching.

"Oh! There are eggs! Little speckled ones-"

"Wait - really?"

 _That's food_ , Shownu realizes quickly.

"Bring 'em down here."

After some arguing over why Shownu wants the eggs, Kihyun finally gives up and slides them carefully inside his shirt, for lack of a better place to put them. Another foolish idea, because they roll around his torso as he climbs down, tickling him and making him almost lose his footing.

"Shit! Careful, _please,_ goddamnit," Shownu yells out, now on his feet. 

"I'm trying!" Kihyun whines, scared himself.

Finally, after he gets a lift down from the last branch and smacks Shownu's hands away, he's safe on the ground. Only problem is they're stuck inside his shirt and untucking it would make them drop out to the ground.

"Umm.." _How am I gonna get these out without breaking them?_ "Oh!" _Got it._

Focused on the task, Kihyun leans sideways and unbuttons his large borrowed shirt down to his belly. Shownu watches as Kihyun reaches into his shirt, over the sliver of bare skin, and fishes the eggs out, unable to look away. 

He has a sudden feeling that even if they parted tomorrow, he'd never be able to forget this man.

It hits him like a stiff, cool breeze. He shakes it off.

+++++

“How do you know they're not - you know, alive?” Kihyun feels slightly queasy. 

_I’m not about to eat a baby bird._ His stomach heaves slightly at the thought.

As Kihyun gently clutches the rest of them, Shownu takes one and holds it up to the sunlight for a few moments.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Kihyun looks unconvinced. Shownu takes his knife out and asks for an egg. Reluctantly, Kihyun hands him one, fingers shaking as he drops it into Shownu's open palm. The other man gently pokes a hole in one end of the egg and then scratches another slightly bigger hole into the other side of the egg.

Kihyun is horrified, but also a little...fascinated.

Shownu flicks his knife closed and slips it into his pants pocket and motions for Kihyun to come closer, holding the egg out to him.

“Then you just - suck it.”

“W-what?” _Ew._

“Here,” Shownu places one hand on his shoulder and gently pushes the end of the egg against Kihyun’s lips, jolting him.

“Now suck, but slowly..”

 _I don't wan-uh - ah shit..._ At this point, this is nothing to either of them, really. _Who am I kidding?_

So Kihyun does.

He stands underneath a tree held by a strange man he met two days ago and he sucks the yolk out of a tiny egg they just took from some poor bird's nest. 

_I'm going to hell._

Let it go, Kihyun, just let it go.

+++++

After they finish the eggs (and Kihyun feels like a murderer) Shownu only gets more ambitious in the desire to provide food for them. He thought this morning, holding on to him, that maybe Kihyun was actually a little leaner. But he could be wrong. He can't recall if he could always feel the smaller man's ribs through his shirt while sitting like this or not.

Regardless, they need to eat more, or else they won't make it to where they're headed, Orphir, without being on their last leg. 

So he proposed they look and see what can be found in the river water. Kihyun is adorably excited, obviously never having gone fishing in his life before. He rips off his boots and stockings and rolls up his pant legs up above his knees before splashing into the water.

"No no, stop that! You'll scare 'em! Jesus-" Shownu is in disbelief at what he just did, and clearly, disappointed.

"Oh..." Kihyun catches on and stands stock still in the knee-deep water, visibly apologetic.

He looks so pitiful, Shownu can't help but crack a smile. 

"Mhm. Look, now try to move - _very slowly mind you_ \- over to the shady area under that bank. See it?"

Kihyun is determined to do better, "Yeah, I see it."

"Okay, just - _go slow_ and try to, I dunno, box one in I guess." Truthfully, this method almost never works and Shownu knows it, but Kihyun had been so eager to help.

_What he doesn't know can't hurt him. It's fine._

Shownu has his knife back out while he sits on the bank, feet in the water, and he's trying to replicate a reed hook that someone showed him once when he was a kid. It's not going so well, but they've got a little time on their hands. 

Several minutes later, Kihyun realizes, catching fish with your bare hands is easier said than done. _No, scratch that, it’s near impossible._

“I’m not going to be able to catch anything like this, I shouldn’t even try,” Kihyun complains to the man sitting on the bank, fiddling with some sticks and his knife it looks like.

He doesn’t even look up, just lets a small smile creep onto his face as he says back, “Now, that’s no kinda fish-catchin’ attitude..”

_Ugh, fine._

Kihyun pulls up the rolled hems of his pants and carefully makes his way further into the stream. He doesn’t make it two steps before Shownu hears -

“Ahhhg _hmm_ -”

**_Splooossshh_ **

And then nothing.

“Goddammit,” Shownu swears, jumping off the bank and sloshing into the deeper pocket of the river. Just as he gets there, Kihyun comes up gasping for air, floundering with panicked eyes, clearly a poor swimmer. Shownu assures him -

“Hang on, hang on I got ya -” and grabs at him, wrapping a too-tight grip onto the other man’s arm, yanking him towards himself through the water.

The current is only up to Shownu’s chest but it's too strong and Kihyun’s not as heavy or used to this kind of thing.

As he gets dragged out of the water by Shownu’s tensed arms under his armpits, he can’t help but think, _I must be such a nuisance to him.._

Now he’s sitting on the grassy bank, wiping water out of his eyes, his entire being dripping. He can see through his wet lashes that Shownu’s standing in the shallows right in front of him. Thanks to Kihyun's carelessness and inexperience, they’re both soaked to the bone.

At the same time, Kihyun squints up at him as Shownu just _looks_ at him. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, almost looking guilty, confusingly, and then -

“If you didn’t feel confident, you should have just told me. I -”

He sounds angry, but he’s not. He’s upset that his heart had clenched so hard when he saw empty water for a second and Kihyun nowhere to be found. 

_I wasn’t supposed to care this much…_

Kihyun’s not crying, but no one would know if he was about to, wet as his face is.

“I am sorry.. I didn’t mean to -”

“I know,” Shownu sighs loudly, and then reaches a hand out to stroke his wet hair, startling him.

“Come on, let’s get dry.”

+++++

Which leads to this moment.

“There ain’t no one out here to see and it’s hot enough that it won’t be an issue for long.”

"I know, but I -"

The taller man is trying to get the smaller one to just stop _bein’ a bitch_ and take off his clothes to lay them out in the sun. It’s so bright and boiling out, with a good enough breeze, that Shownu knows that it’d only take half an hour or so for everything to be bone dry.

Plus the tiny idiot is shivering because of the cold mountain-fed river water still soaking his clothes. 

“Would you stop -” Shownu lunges forward and tries to grab at Kihyun’s sleeve causing him to leap back, clutching his sides, eyes wide.

 _Infuriating, infuriating man!_ Kihyun grits out internally. _Why can’t he get that I’m not like this normally. I’m not used to all of - this. Him. Being out here. Nakedness. Everything._

They’re at a ridiculous standoff now (in the grand scheme of things.)

Neither man moves, just letting the breeze continue to evaporate and chill their damp bodies, eyes slanted toward each other, faces set. 

Shownu gives up first and laughs out loud.

"I jus' don't understand you sometimes..."

He starts loosening the handkerchief at his neck.

_Wait …_

Next comes the dark, wet vest flopping to the ground and then Shownu is unbuttoning the cuffs of his sleeves, staring at the smaller man. Brazen.

Somewhere in the last minute or so seems like he had just decided to start stripping anyway, an arm's length from Kihyun. 

“S-stop it!”

“ _No_.”

Now a white, almost see-through shirt is being peeled off of Shownu’s thick, muscled torso and-

Kihyun panics.

“Wait… wait! Please...” His face is red and his eyes are wide.

Shownu just cocks his head and dramatically lets the wet shirt flop down onto the grass.

“Are you gonna stop being an ass and be sensible now?”

_Rude man._

“I hate you”, Kihyun spits out, but with no real feeling whatsoever.

“Yup, I know. Now strip.”

+++++

Shownu had the decency to back away more from the other man, allowing for some breathing room, but they’re essentially still out here in the blazing sun, in this wide-open expanse of a valley, getting naked together, all the same.

It’s almost comical, Kihyun realizes, once he’s settled down and realized that yes, he does feel instantly warmer with the wet clothes off of him.

In order to ignore the excruciating reality of being completely bare in front of the walking pinnacle of a man a few yards away, he focuses on angling his front away from Shownu while copying the other's movements and laying out his own clothes on the dry long grass and warm boulders.

When he’s unrolled the last soaked hem, there’s nothing left to do, horribly.

He can feel - acutely - the other man’s eyes on him as he crouches in the long grass. It feels a little like... being hunted.

_No, that’s stupid._

But is it?

+++++

As Kihyun continued to sit partially obscured by the tall meadow grass, blades tickling places that have never been tickled before, Shownu had gone over the horse briefly and returned with a few things. Kihyun hears him step closer to him through the dry grass and then there's a **_thwump_ **as he drops something.

“Here.”

Kihyun really, _really_ doesn’t want to turn around. 

“I brought the saddle blanket. You can wrap yourself up in it. I know it’s hot, bein’ wool and all, but you seem to care more about me seeing you than anything else so…”

That last bit trailed off almost to a gruff whisper, but Kihyun hears it, face heating up, all the same.

“...so here. Come on.”

Gripping clumps of grass in his hands, Kihyun screws his eyes shut, lets out a shuddery breath. Then he stands up slowly. His back still to the taller man, he gently lays his hands fanned out over his crotch and turns around.

If Shownu ever plays poker, he probably loses, because there are several muscles in his jaw and a fast breath sucked in that give him dead away.

But Kihyun refuses to look at anything other than the grass under his feet. He waits.

Then long, wide legs and a blanket gripped hard in Shownu’s hands over his own crotch come into view. 

“Turn around.”

_W-why?_

But Kihyun does it and then Shownu wraps the wool blanket over his bare body crossing the edges over his chest in the front. The hands rest against him for just a second too long and it’s too much, _much_ too much. Too hot of a blanket. Too itchy. Too close. Too much tension. Too much of... _him._

Suddenly Kihyun hates everything so much, he can’t take it. But he'd be alone out here, and he needs this man, so-

“Thank you,” he spits out and grasps the blanket to hold it onto himself. Shownu hasn’t moved for some reason. It’s very concerning. 

_What else does he have -_

One big, calloused finger strokes so, so lightly down the back of his neck. 

“Mn-!”

Kihyun can’t stop himself from shuddering this time either. He's in shock.

 _No, no, no, no, no, no…._ He moans internally, eyes screwed shut, shoulders stiff... _just no. I can't._

Before he finally backs away, Shownu quietly adds right over Kihyun’s shoulder, 

“I’ll be sitting under that tree over there.”

Kihyun blearily looks out over the tanned arm pointing towards the tree to their left. 

“I’m telling you so’s you don’t look if you don’t want an eyeful.”

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, lovely people. As you can tell, I rang it in by adding a chapter to this new obsession of mine (but I also did snag a quick cheers with my fam too). If you can believe it, I wrote over 150,000 words in 2020, between my personal (ahem~) and professional projects. My hands hurt, dang it! Lol.
> 
> Our wild boys are headed to [Ophir](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/14/Ophir_co_ca1900.jpeg) which back then was a bustling mining town in a gorgeous Colorado valley. What a pretty name right? And promising. You may have noticed I don't mention states or anything. That's cuz the U.S. looked [a lot different ](https://legacy.lib.utexas.edu/maps/united_states/us_terr_1840.jpg) on a map back then; it took time to negotiate and survey out the lines that are in places today.
> 
> I'm diving into so much 19th century wild west history for this piece, I've stumbled across some crazy stories and facts. I'm hoping to tuck some of them into the story. Hope you all like this one. I felt like I could feel the melty, charged tension while writing this. Whew! Let's see what mingling into town life again does for ShowKi next chapter...


	7. Fire Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Town can do weird things to people, it's the truth. You'd think procuring a meal and a place to sleep would be simple tasks. Turns out, at least in Orphir, those desires aren't easily satisfied at all. Ah, well. Hang on for the ride, boys.

+++++

By the evening of the third day riding together, Kihyun’s ass hurts so badly, and he feels like he smells so much, he would have done anything for a bath, a meal, and a bed. _Anything._

Just then, as they crest what feels like the longest hill ever pushed up centuries ago by glaciers, they spot a small town in the valley below. Orphir, apparently, as Shownu explained their destination to him by firelight last night. The sun is starting to set behind them and Kihyun's stomach growls, loudly.

Shownu chuckles behind him, flicks the reigns, makes a few clicks with his mouth, and they start off down the hill. Not long after, they round the corner of the first buildings and looking down towards the street. It's something, this bustling little town framed by mountains, after spending all that time in the wild.

 _Finally, civilization._ Kihyun sighs in relief.

Shownu and he ignore the odd stares they get and make their way over to the saloon. As an old man on the porch puffs out smoke from his pipe and blatantly stares at the pair, Shownu tries to get the other down with as minimal of contact as possible.

Admittedly, it looks a bit odd. Two men on one horse? Doesn't happen that often.

 _Ah well, let 'em look,_ Shownu thinks too focused on filling their stomachs and finding somewhere to lay their aching bones tonight.

+++++

They grab their saddlebags and mount the wood steps. Shownu goes first through the swinging doors, holding one side open for Kihyun to follow him through. It takes a moment for both of their eyes to adjust to the difference in lighting and the smoke in the air to see what the room looks like.

The man jangling the keys of an old piano in the corner slows down for a bit and a few chairs creak as their occupants get a better look.

"I've never been in one of these actually," Kihyun quietly admits standing next to Shownu, embarrassed by the varied group of scattered eyes suddenly stuck fast to them. 

"I figured as much. Come on."

Shownu steers Kihyun immediately into a table in the corner, pushing him into the chair closest to the wall with a "don't talk to anyone, stay here" before going to speak with the man behind the counter, presumably about some food and lodging.

When he returns, looking satisfied with his queries, Shownu boxes him in with his own chair and angles his larger body almost as if to shield the smaller man from the room, almost completely obscuring Kihyun's people-watching view. So he just sits, eyes down instead, rolling his shirt cuffs in his lap and smelling the day's heat and sweat coming off of the man sitting a bit too close to him.

+++++

The saloon owner, a tall, lanky man dressed nice with long slicked back hair, eventually comes over to their table with a smile. 

"How do ye, folks? I'm Hyungwon, the owner of this establishment. What can I get you all?" 

“Glass of firewater and ah..” he looks back at Kihyun, “..a beer, I guess. We’ll also take two servings of whatever you got cooking in the back.”

Hyungwon just nods and leaves to settle some food and drink for them. Kihyun feels odd that the other man ordered for him.

"How do you know if I even like beer?"

Shownu stops flicking something from the spur in his boot crossed over his leg and looks at him.

"Did you want somethin' stronger instead?"

"Ah, no I just..." but Kihyun trails off, losing his point.

"Well, bout that, but there usually isn't much else to drink at these kinds'a places so..."

 _You can just shut your mouth now,_ Kihyun tells himself.

"It's fine, sorry..."

+++++

The food that comes out several minutes later is rather confusing ( _What is this, some kind of stew?_ ) and pretty unappetizing. But it's filling and Kihyun gratefully eats it, knowing it's a lot more than they've been getting and he needs it.

Together, they eat in silence, slurping stew and tearing bread to sop the last dregs up, all the while they're surrounded by rowdy, drunk patrons enjoying themselves.

After they've finished and sat with their drinks, Shownu now smoking one of his rolled cigarettes, a bold stranger approaches them, introduces himself, and asks their names.

Apparently named Jooheon, "but I jus' go by Joohoney", he's a flashy character, that's for sure. Slick black boots, piercing eyes, and an unusual maroon and pinstriped suited outfit. A gold chain hangs down from his vest pocket.

 _He's more'n half buzzed,_ Shownu notices.

He had been sitting playing cards with a few other loud, obviously drunk men while occasionally glancing over at the pair in curiosity. They were going through whiskey like water and frequently slapping the saloon girls on their asses. 

Shownu is wary of other patrons and highly displeased by the sudden attention but with a quick look down at the man's legs and over to the table at the steel his party is packing he relents and says, "Shownu." Jooheon nods and slides his gaze right over at Kihyun, smiling widely while looking him up and down, interested.

 _That's real creepy,_ Kihyun realizes feeling a chill make his hair stand up.

“And who might -”

Shownu just grits out one word, " _No_ ," before the man can get any further, stopping him in his tracks. There's a tense moment as the large seated man locks eyes with the big stranger standing at their table. Shownu looks like he's about to break his glass of whiskey.

 _No what?_ Kihyun wonders, confused.

Jooheon just observes the pair frowning, suddenly amused and throws out a, "Fair enough" before he turns on his heel and walks away to the bar. Unfortunately for Shownu's blood pressure, the man is now coming back. He thought maybe the man had given up. Nope. He returns with two shots of something clear in his hands.

"Wasn't gonna do this -" he says louder this time, drawing attention to their table, "-but since for some reason I can't even be introduced apparently, _I must insist_." The man has a habit of drawling out the ends of it sentences in a way that gives Kihyun shivers.

He holds out one shot to Kihyun, confusing him.

And before Shownu can lean over him to stop it, he instinctually takes it from the card shark, the movement making him wince from his still sore wound.

"W-what's this?" 

Shownu turns his head and glares at the brazen, annoying stranger.

"This my little friend is punishment - or a reward! depends on how you look at it - for nursing your drink so damn slowly while the rest of us-" he sweeps his arm around the room " -are having such a grand ole time."

Kihyun is actually befuddled by this turn of events. _Is this common?_

"Now drink up!"

Shownu's chair skids as he goes to grab the shot glass from the smaller man, but Joohoney stops him with a movement and a sound.

_**Click click** _

_"_ Nuh-uh-uh, big man. _He's_ got to do it."

Kihyun's eyes are wide as he and Shownu now see the stranger pointing his cocked pistol right at Kihyun. 

_What the hell is this..._

Even though Shownu's hand had already made it to his own piece seconds later, the stranger still has them.

So Shownu grits out to his poor, naive traveling companion, "Just drink it."

"And no sippin' it like a woman! I want to see that head thrown back and that lil' adam's apple of yours bobbin'."

 _So that's what this is about, he's a degenerate creep. Great,_ Shownu seethes in his seat, rueing the decision to ever come to this fuckin' town.

But since they both have hot lead pointed at them, Kihyun does it anyway. One deep breath, sweat dripping down his spine by now, he flicks his eyes up once to the stranger's laughing, satisfied eyes and then over to Shownu's concerned, irate face and knocks it back.

It burns like a motherfucker all the way down and he gags, gasping for air.

"Ha haha! Very good, pretty boy! You pass."

And with that, he uncocks his gun, puts it back, downs his own shot, and turns on his heel to saunter back over to his card table and friends.

 _Pass what? What in the ever living hell was that about?_ Kihyun in shock, his throat, and face burning up. After that, they finish their food in silence, but anyone can see the thin line of Shownu's lips and the muscle jumping on his jaw as he downs his drink and gathers up their things. 

Kihyun doesn’t understand the kind of bizarre fits of hunger men can develop out here. Sheer loneliness and an all too common lack of women can lead to… things Shownu knows to happen but he never wants to see anyone doing to his traveling companion. Things that makes his skin crawl. It's not peaches and roses out here, it's gunshots and grime.

_It's best he doesn't even hear about it..._

+++++

Kihyun is drunk, very much a lightweight. _What was that clear liquor anyway?_ His head feels like a sponge and his stomach is churning. By the time he makes it out of the saloon and down the steps with Shownu, he can feel it coming.

"Wait - _mmmph_ \- I -"

Kihyun is going to hurl, he knows it. He can't seem to stand up either. It's awful and embarrassing. Shownu spins around and grabs him, pulling them into the alley between the buildings, holding him up as he leans on his knees hunched over.

Kihyun is heaving by now, and another wave starts to come. Suddenly Shownu realizes something. And just as Kihyun clutches his throat, ready to throw up-

\- a big hand smacks over his mouth. 

"Mmmm!!" 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry but I can't let you - "

 _Why the hell not?_ Kihyun screams mentally, worn out, and so dizzy.

"- you need that food, just bear with it." And he keeps his hand pressed hard over Kihyun's quivering mouth, the other arm holding him around his ribs until it passes.

 _Fuck that asshole, I'll kill him,_ Shownu thinks, watching the smaller man's eyes well up and chest heave in his arms. 

_Goddamn, I hate coming to town._

+++++

After Kihyun's fit to stand again (although he sways when he does) they head over to the horse tied up in from of the saloon. Now Shownu has got him precariously perched upon the saddle (even though his vision is by now reeling) and they head down the street again.

Shownu learned earlier from the bartender that the only place that has room to stay in is the brothel. He had shared this with Kihyun, who was instantly mortified. Even Shownu was a little taken aback.

“Do we have to sta-” Kihyun starts hesitantly but instantly gets cut off

“It’s the only place, Kihyun, unless you wanna sleep outside again.”

It’s the first time Shownu says his name out loud, and it’s too harsh, not right at all. Almost hurts.

Chastened and embarrassed for being a prude, Kihyun replies, quick, 

“No, no sorry, it’s ...fine..”

_It wasn't fine, but what other option is there?_

So now they're heading over there, the bigger man holding the smaller, drunk one with a death grip for fear he'd tumble off and crack his head open.

If people might've stared before, they're openly gaping now.

+++++

After the madam "it's Pearl de Vere, darlings, and a pleasure" greets them, hears they need “-a room? For the two of yous? Whatever you say, honey.. just follow me,” Shownu half drags Kihyun's bent body up the stairs after her. Pearl's eyebrows are raised, and she looks back at them struggling to mount the stairs a few times, but then they’re taken to the top floor, past half-naked ladies and rooms of grunting men to a smaller room at the end of the hall. 

“Here it is,” she says and pushes the door open, "sorry I can't do more for ya.."

It’s a rather dismal. Shownu can make out a smaller, bowed bed with a few sheets thrown on it in a dimly lit, one windowed room. It’s all they could probably afford and it’s the last bed in town apparently, so it'll have to do.  
Shownu gently grips the smaller man’s shoulders, steering him into the room. He turns back to say politely, “Thank you, ma’am,” which ends up making her smile a little, surprised, and clear her throat.

“Of course. Now then, let me know if you need anything or-”

 _Any company,_ is the implication.

She smiles, with a slightly hopeful but more knowing look. She’s seen a lot of things. She probably won't be receiving a request from them, if the firm grip and concerned gaze the bigger one has on the younger one is anything to go by.

Shownu doesn’t appreciate the implications hanging in the air... but he's too distracted and tired to correct them. So he just tips his head once to her and closes the door.

+++++

Silently, Shownu and Kihyun get ready for bed, taking turns using the washbasin on the rickety table in the corner and drying their faces on the small ratty towel provided. 

It doesn’t take long for both of them to realize that all the night sounds of guests being pleasured filters through the thin walls very well. Kihyun’s face gets hot as he turns away to sit on the bed and shrug his boots and socks off. Just leaning down to do that made his stomach turn again, so he closes his eyes briefly to breathe.

When he opens them again, he realizes Shownu sleeps shirtless indoors apparently, as he glimpses out of the corner of his eye a large expanse of a dark chest over tan trousers on the opposite side of the bed. 

And he himself is still in Shownu's shirt. He doesn’t take it off, just slips his pants down off his legs and lays them over the frame of the bed. His head is pounding and he wishes he could take a bath or something... but he's too tired and it's all too much to do anything else. So he accepts how gross and sore he feels and steels himself for tonight. 

The bedframe creaks as Kihyun gingerly slips his bare legs under the sheets towards the middle of the bed. He settles down on his side facing away from Shownu. Their wool blanket has been laid by the other over the sheet, and hopefully, it'll keep them warm enough without a fireplace in here.

When Shownu gets in, the bed positively groans under his larger weight, and it causes Kihyun to almost roll backwards right into him. He holds onto the edge of the thin mattress, closes his eyes despite his still spinning head, and tries to get comfortable, ignoring the sounds filtering from down the hall. 

+++++

An hour or so later, no more asleep whatsoever, he's thirsty and wired. Kihyun is still curled into himself away from Shownu, body strung tight, and is trying to focus on something, _anything_ , other than the moans and groans outside their room. It’s pretty much impossible. 

_How long will that go on?_ He doesn't want to think about it.

But just when he realizes he can’t hear Shownu’s heavy, steady breathing anymore, he starts hearing some rustling next to him, and the bed sways with movement. 

There’s soft scratching of fingernails against hair, the almost inaudible sound of skin on skin, and then -

_Wait. Oh God. Oh God, no no no...please…_

Scared but too curious to stop himself, Kihyun slowly looks back over his shoulder. He barely makes out from the dim light that somehow Shownu, his eyes still closed, now has his mouth slightly hanging open, and the sheets are slung below his hips. Terror sets in as Kihyun sees one strong arm moving a hand up and down over a stiffened cock hanging out of unbuttoned trousers. He's further shocked to see the other hand is actually rubbing at the other's chest and nipple. 

This man is masturbating. In bed. Next to him.

Kihyun’s blood freezes as his skin breaks out in a cold sweat.

Never in his life could he have imagined the last three days leading to this moment. It's jarring and scarring in equal parts.

His own dick traitorously starts stirring to life, listening to the sounds and movements next to him, so he quickly turns back around carefully and presses a hand hard on his own mouth. He feels like he has to keep very still, or else -

_I'm going to kill him._

As Kihyun lays stiff as a board, trying to remember how to breathe through his nose, hands clasped tightly over his mouth, body stiff, eyes wide, it becomes clear that Shownu is approaching his climax. Kihyun can tell because the older’s breathing hitches up a little and the bed’s movements jostle them both more.

And then there's a loud creak of the mattress as Shownu’s back arches off the bed and a low, drawn-out moan as he cums.

Kihyun’s eyes are wet with tears of shock by now. He can not fathom what just happened. 

Then Shownu grabs a sock from the floor and swipes his chest and abs with it and then with a **_thump_ **Kihyun hears it drop back down on the floor. 

_Wait… he was awake?!_

_T_ - _that means... he thought I was dead asleep or something?_

 _Ah dammit, I truly wish I was,_ Kihyun laments internally, sliding a trembling hand over his face in misery.

He didn’t sleep hardly at all after that, only succumbing to a fitful slumber a few hours before sunrise out of pure exhaustion.

_What the hell._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Fun" Western facts: "These private men of the West were also accustomed to inquiring of another man’s first name only. With their varied and often shady backgrounds, curiosity was considered impolite. Both men’s and women’s pasts were respected and were not inquired about. If and when it was, it could be very unhealthy for the inquirer, who might end up dead in the street in front of the saloon."
> 
> "The majority of western saloon regulars drank straight liquor — whiskey, rye, or bourbon. If a man ordered a fancy cocktail or sipped at his drink, he was often ridiculed unless he was well known or already had a proven reputation as a “tough guy.” Unknowns, especially foreigners who often nursed their drinks, were sometimes forced to swallow a fifth of 100 proof at gunpoint 'for his own good.'" 
> 
> Now you know! What a crazy time, Jesus. Sorry I made Joohney into a creep! He's actually my MX bias, don't come for me please lol. And also now we know: perhaps a crude, imperfect way to foster closeness amongst traveling companions is to jack off in bed next to them??  
> Jesus Lord.  
> No! Please no one ever do that, good golly. But you know? I'm convinced Son Hyunwoo was actually asleep himself, not aware of how his horny, subconscious brain was steering his body. Ah well. Poor Kihyun. How do you look someone in the eye after that? We'll find out...


	8. Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The longer Shownu is around him, the more he softens. It's dangerous...but he just can't seem to quit caring.

+++++

Kihyun wakes up because he feels suffocated, smothered. He groans, tossing and turning. He kicks the blanket down and flops an arm against a broad chest, abruptly waking up his bed companion. Blearily, Shownu rolls his head over to him and sees Kihyun is not sleeping, distressed about something and panting like a horse.

_Is he still drunk?_

"What's'it? Y'alright?" He slurs, not awake himself yet.

He rolls over, blinking the sleep from his eyes, and in the faint morning light, leans over him to get a good look.

Kihyun is flushed, red in the face, feverish.

After pressing a dry, rough palm to his too hot forehead sliding it down to his damp, heated neck, the stranger knows something is terribly wrong. This is more than vestiges of alcohol wearing off.

_Something's not right._

Watching the smaller man writhe in pain, hand clutching the covers, eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging open gasping for air, he realizes that his wound has gotten worse.

It's infected.

So he leans over him and starts undoing the buttons of the big shirt. The other gradually reacts to the movement.

"Noo.. _please_.." Kihyun whines, weakly trying to push the large hands away from him, "Y- can't... I don't..."

He's dripping with sweat, breathing hard and delirious.

_Why's he acting like someone's tried to manhandle him like this before?_

The thought makes something dark and painful twist inside Shownu. But now's not the time.

Suddenly focused and not willing to cater to the other's fears right now, Shownu keeps going. After several unsuccessful attempts, Kihyun finally manages to open his eyes and slide them over to see a fuzzy, melting image of the taller man leaning over him in bed. It's too sudden, frightening, and he tries to back away from him.

Shownu pauses meeting his eyes, worried at how unfocused and glazed over they look, and at how frightened he is.

"You're burning up and I don't know why," he gently grabs the other's hands in his own and holds them for a moment, "I won't hurt you.. just let me help. Please."

Kihyun keeps breathing hard, eyes wet with tears, shaking in Shownu's grip, but slowly he eventually relaxes his body, letting him keep going.

There's nothing underneath that shirt and they both know it, so Shownu pulls the blanket up to the younger's waist again and keeps unbuttoning the damp shirt, gently pulling it to the sides. He can see the bandage he dressed for him yesterday still wrapped around his shoulder and underarm. But it's oozing yellow pus and a small amount of red blood, a very bad sign.

Kihyun is shaking so hard now as Shownu carefully starts to unwrap the old bandage. But he doesn't get far, as he's feeling so raw himself, and not focusing on the task, he accidentally brushes a finger too near the injury.

Kihyun yelps and jerks away, eyes flooding.

Immediately regretful for his lack of focus, Shownu reaches out to cradle his face with his big hand, trying to soothe him, "Woah, hey hey hey.."

He's acutely aware that the smaller man would never let him touch him like this if he wasn't in this state. It makes him feel....almost bitter.

"I'm sorry ‘bout that. I'm sorry. Just - breathe, alright?"

Kihyun inhales a shaky breath, eyes still clenched shut, tears falling down his cheeks. 

_Maybe it's better to get a doctor to look at this._

"Why didn't you tell me it had gotten worse?"

The man lying in bed frowns, clearly in pain, and just pants back, "I don' know, I -"

Shownu instantly feels bad for asking and stops him with a hand laid on his waist, " _Shhh_ , nevermind. It's alright. I'll get you looked at."

But first, he should try to get his fever down a little. Leaving him to lay exposed to the cold morning air like that, he goes over to the washstand he grabs the bowl, and the rag, filling the former up with a little water from the pitcher. It's ice-cold but that'll be good.

He sits back on the bed next to him, legs over the side of the bed, and dips then squeezes out the cloth. The first slide of wet rag on Kihyun's hot, fevered chest makes him shudder and grab at Shownu's hand.

He waits, letting the smaller man gets used to the sensation, and then moves his other hand. It makes Shownu's heart hurt but he keeps going, wiping his neck, chest, stomach, and face. Each stroke is slow and careful like he's afraid to hurt him again. 

There are moans of relief as the injured man shudders and gasps softly.

"Tha's.. tha's good," Kihyun manages to whisper, wet and shivering.

"Good", Shownu says back, still pained from hurting him, but they keep going. 

Every so often dipping and wringing the rag almost dry again. It seems to be helping.

Finally, after Kihyun seems to have cooled down a little, his breathing is a bit more even and he rests with his eyes closed.

Shownu gets up to leave. He's surprised to feel a hand grasp his sleeve, 

"Don't go... please," Kihyun says in the smallest, most broken voice. It shocks Shownu a little, but he just gently reminds him -

"I have to get the doctor. I'll be right back. Promise."

Kihyun managed to process those words, in his fever wracked brain, and so he gently lets Shownu's crumpled sleeve drop from his fingers. The cool water and air seem to have helped a little, but he's still not well at all.

_How did I not notice how bad it had gotten? Why did he hide this from me?_

+++++

Shownu can't help but feel the twisted, raw gnawing of guilt in his gut as he leaves to go find the town doctor to get him treated. 

_This is my fault._

Half an hour later, Kihyun sees a hazy image of two faces over his own, and a figure in a dress hovering in the doorway, concerned. The doctor sets down his leather bag and sits on the chair next to the bed. He peers at Kihyun through his gold-rimmed glasses, frowning.

"And who is...?" The doctor, a Dr. Lee Min Hyuk, motions to the laying patient, turning to look up at Shownu.

Shownu's jaw moves a little and he just says, slowly, "Just treat him, doc." The doctor is a bit taken aback at first, but then just nods.

Quite a few of his patients are the silent, cryptic type, so he doesn’t press. While the doc examines Kihyun, Shownu sees from his stiff posture and low _hmm_ s that it seems to be much worse than they realized Kihyun’s. 

At first, Shownu paces for a while, looking over at the bed and the physician often, but then eventually he quickly leaves the room.

The doctor is gentle with Kihyun while he's gone, carefully helping him sit up so he can remove the messy, damp bandage, and only asking him a few questions about the pain or when it happened. 

Kihyun's whole body aches and his head is pounding as he suffers through the excruciatingly painful process of cleaning out and redressing the wound. His chest is hot and hurts a hell of a lot more than before. He's vaguely aware that there's one less person in the room now.

It causes a sharp thought to quickly float to the top of his bleary consciousness.

_Where did he go?_

Kihyun doesn't realize that if Shownu cared less or had more control over this possessive, increasingly perilous feeling of a bond overtaking him, he would have stayed by his side. As it was, every time Kihyun moaned in pain from something the doctor did while dressing him, Shownu felt like punching the man, and that just wouldn't do.

As it is, Shownu sits on the porch a few steps from the door he kicked open and inhales tobacco until he can see straight again. Only after a few silent moments with himself, hands clenched at his side, and nicotine flooding his veins can he bring himself to mount those wooden stairs, clutching the rail painfully, and enter that room again. 

+++++

After the doctor dressed the wound, gave him something for sleep, and left, on his advisement, Kihyun sleeps all afternoon. While he dozes, he's vaguely aware of Shownu coming in and out of the room, sometimes dragging fresh smoked cigarette smell in behind him. Shownu several times stands next to the bed looking at him, or sits on the chair in the corner, whittling with his knife, and observing the rise and fall of the man's chest in bed.

At some point, Shownu uses his own money at the dry goods stores to get some rations and supplies for their journey ahead but he doesn't linger and is relieved to see the other sleeping peacefully when he gets back.

The last time he puts his palm to Kihyun's forehead, he's slept well and hard so the younger immediately feels it and wakes up.

"Hmn.."

Shownu's chest relaxes as he slowly pulls his hand back and asks, "How're you?" 

"Alright, I think.." Kihyun blinks sleepily at the man leaning over him, "what happened to me?"

"Your wound was infected."

"Oh," Kihyun's eyes widen and he sucks in a breath, then flinches. 

Finally, after he feels settled enough, Shownu helps him sit up slowly and feeds him some broth the madam gave him from a spoon. Somehow they're back to square one like this. It feels familiar, but also bitter.

_I should have kept a better eye on him. He could have been almost better by now._

Kihyun lets the taller man help him lean back against the wall and pull the blanket around him. He feels...delicate. And oh so weary. But he's awake enough now to notice Shownu chewing his lip as he moves around the room, cleaning up from the aftermath. And there's a hunch to his shoulders that wasn't there before.

"It's not your fault you know.."

"What?"

"This," Kihyun motions with his chin to his injury, freshly wrapped. "I can see that you feel...somehow responsible, but it's not like you shot me. I'll be alright."

Instead of those words reassuring him, Shownu's gut clenches in shame as he suddenly turns away to the window. He nods once, to comfort Kihyun, but his back remains turned away from him as he looks out over the sunbaked roofs to the mountains beyond. His eyes hurt from the brightness and start to water. 

There's no forgiveness for what he's done.

_He can never know._

+++++

At some point, later that afternoon Shownu notices that Kihyun has definitely perked up more, even cracking a smile at something Shownu says.

But the smaller man still can't meet his eyes and barely says two words to him.

He wonders why that is.

_He must have lied to spare my feelings. He does blame me after all._

But that train of thought is abruptly abandoned when he sees another mental image that’ll be burned into his brain for years.

In the glow of the soft amber afternoon light, Shownu can see just how milky white the younger’s legs and thighs are, as he shakily leans over, still dazed and sleepy, to pull on his pants next to the bed.

His short, wispy hair is stuck to his neck in curls from his fever sweat and there's an outline of the younger's small body from the sun shining through the baby blue new shirt Shownu got him.

From the chair in the corner, Shownu can see almost everything. It takes his breath away.

 _Ah, shit_ , Shownu thinks, rubbing his hand over his face.

It's impossible to stop the memory and the feeling of his own darker, worn hands stroking over that same milky skin, but this time immediately reimagining massaging into the soft flesh of those thighs and letting his fingers twist into those sweaty, soft curls on that neck.

_Now is not the time for this._

+++++

It's time to leave, even though it's late in the afternoon. Somehow together they silently agreed that they're just not suited to staying in Orphir longer than one night. They both seem to miss the quiet peace of nature and the crackling fire muffled by pines under the stars.

_And no one else to bother us._

But maybe that's not what Kihyun actually wants? Shownu suddenly wonders, aware that the other man's personal will doesn't seem to be that strong.

_Maybe he's just going along with me because he doesn't have any other choice?_

They're outside now, Shownu saddling up the horse as Kihyun rests on the porch. The madam had been worried and reluctant to let them go. Shownu had been polite but firm, having had more than enough of this town and its people.

“I just want you to know, you don’t have to, ah...”

Kihyun is confused, “Have to what?”

“Keep... riding with me. You know, together. We can split up here if that’s what you want.”

 _Oh,_ Kihyun realizes, instantly hating the idea and then hating himself for hating the idea.

Trying not to sound panicked or as needy as he found himself feeling, he just keeps looking at the taller man tightening straps as he sits on the edge of the wooden boards in front of a building and responds,

“I don't want to...go alone. Can't we just.."

_Keep doing what we're doing?_

They stare at each other quietly for a second, as Kihyun wonders what the heck he's thinking.

"A-as long as you don’t mind -”

Shownu interjects a bit too quickly, “I don’t.”

“- then I’d like to...stick with you if that’s alright?”

That last part comes out real quiet and Shownu almost doesn’t hear it. He looks over at Kihyun as he buckles the last strap and sees the other sitting stiff but with an almost hopeful look on his face. He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was painfully holding in and cracks a smile back at him.

“Well okay then,” Shownu chuckles and grabs the saddlebag from next to Kihyun, holding out a hand for him, “let’s keep going West then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Son Hyungwoo, you bad boy, what did you do? You better not hurt Kihyun or I'll sick my new posse of readers on you, dammit!
> 
> Hello, my Showki people. We're back - with a plot developing, emotional deepening chapter. It's cute how Shownu can't stand anyone else around his new companion (crush). Next chapter will be a bit heavier (physically and emotionally). Prepare yourselves, and as always, thanks for reading! xx


	9. Wet Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is the best way to soothe someone? Well, it depends on the persons involved, doesn't it now?  
> For Shownu and the unware Kihyun, it leads to an equally intoxicating and jarring moment in a grove of trees under the bright, starry sky. Some decisions can change everything in a moment, forever.

+++++

While leaving town, they end up riding past people going the other way. A couple of lone riders, a few people walking carrying heavy sacks, and an old woman and child bouncing in the front seat of a rickety wagon full of barrels.

Shownu has a solid grip on Kihyun, holding him gently around his middle as they pick their way through the terrain that gets more varied the farther out they go. After not riding like this for a while, the close contact makes Kihyun feel a bit...shy, embarrassingly. 

Eventually, the horse climbs up the ever steeper incline of a long hill until they make it to the other side. Then they slowly see a view Kihyun will never forget in his life.

There's a lush valley covered in trees with a large river winding through it, framed by even taller snow-capped mountains. The whole scene is lit up by the golden strips of evening light coming over the hill, touching only the highest points and letting the rest take on blue darkness. It's the prettiest thing they've both ever seen. 

After pausing for a moment at the top, Shownu steers the horse towards a natural trail to the right that looks like it leads to a grove of trees and a small creek feeding that river.

He's worried that the ride is too much too soon for the other. 

"Alright?"

Kihyun hasn't been able to sit up fully by himself still too sore and dizzy, so he finally resigned himself to accepting the solid, sturdy chest as a prop behind him. He can feel Shownu's breaths, slowly going in and out, while the air from other's nose fans over his ear and collar.

"Yes," he lies a little, "I can make it 'til we stop." Truthfully, he is in a lot of pain but keeps quiet because he's just so glad they left.

Shownu nods, the brim of his hat tapping Kihyun's head nestled against his shoulder and holds him a little tighter, clicking his mouth to encourage the horse to move a bit quicker.

+++++

The gentle rolling sway of riding this way, warm, supported is making him sleepy. Beams of orange sunset light slowly stretching across the meadow grass behind them, til it’s time to stop, only an hour or so's ride West from Orphir.

This time, Shownu finds them a low hollow between trees in a meadow, next to a small stream. The birds twitter and then die down as the sun wanes and disappears.

Shownu helped Kihyun get down and propped him up against the tree, laying his soft fringed leather jacket over him, tucking it under his chin and around his shoulders. It makes Kihyun feel so safe, sitting here, warmth from the crackling fire coming to life, licking heat to his cold toes in his dewy boots.

To say he was feeling calmer and happier out here, despite his pain, would not even begin to explain it. It felt like the longest day he'd ever experienced yet and town had become suffocating.

Through all the messy, sometimes frightening events that being in Orphir had brought them, something had changed.

Feelings had risen up, crashed, and softly fallen back down.

They were closer. It was palpable.

But also they were still very much strangers to each other.

Kihyun knows he still doesn’t know everything. And he hasn’t forgotten how darkly possessive Shownu had looked sometimes whenever anyone tried to approach him.

It had been surprising...and confusing. Despite being so physically close to this man for almost a week, Kihyun is aware he knows next to nothing about him except his name and that he happened to be traveling west in that stagecoach that day as well.

_Who is this man?_

and more confusingly,

_Why am I starting to feel like a kept woman around him?_

+++++

After a meal of beans, some dried fish, and coffee, they're both leaning against a big tree, shoulders almost touching, feet pointed toward the fire. Shownu has him wrapped up in a new blanket he bought for them. It's softer and a nice plaid in shades of brown.

The warm meal and hot coffee coupled with the heat rolling off of the fire is making them both drowsy. They're sitting on the saddle blanket laid out over a bed of leaves and pine needles Shownu scooped up and patted down for them. Watching him do that earlier had made Kihyun suddenly wonder how those hands, that had probably done much rougher things more often, could also do something so...soft.

When Shownu had held his arms out to him earlier to help him down from the horse, for some reason, this time he didn't fight it and let himself be pulled down into the other's chest by those same firm hands on his hips. He noticed that Shownu's face had changed after that; he frowned a little less. 

It's so peaceful that when the silence gets broken with -

“I know something that might help-”

\- Kihyun jumps.

"If it's hurting too much.."

"Oh. What is it?"

Kihyun expects him to offer maybe alcohol, some wild herbs, tobacco, or something else. 

Anything would do at this point.

“If you -" Shownu's eyes flick downwards, " _y'know_ , you might forget the pain. At least for a little.”

Except that.

He never in his life expects Shownu to suggest that Kihyun _pleasure_ himself right now.

“W-what.. did you say?”

_I must still have a fever._

"It'll take the edge off."

Stunned silence, then, "I can help you."

"W-what -"

He carefully turns to look at the bigger man over this shoulder.

_Why the hell is he suggesting this? This feels... bizarre, and far too intimate. Wrong._

Shownu is breaking a small stick and flicking the pieces into the coals of the fire, not meeting his eyes.

"Why would you..." _ever_ _offer to do that?_

"It's clear you're in pain but y'shouldn't move and... I feel bad."

Kihyun can't make out where this came from. It seems so out of character for this gruff, masculine man. But maybe... maybe he read him wrong?

"We're both men. 'T'is not a big deal."

But that's a lie and Shownu knows it.

 _This is not a reward,_ he reminds himself painfully, _it's penance._

The smaller man is dumbfounded, but as another particularly sharp pang stabs through his chest, making his breath hitch and his eyes water, his resolve weakens.

Several surreal, bizarre moments pass with the both of them just sitting stiffly together watching the flames of the fire dance around the logs before -

Kihyun realizes, _What's the harm?_ Perhaps he's not thinking clearly from the pain, but -

_He's offering._

Finally, Shownu hears a very quiet, "Alright."

It's said a bit too weakly, but his heart is pounding out of his chest, and Shownu wants to believe it. 

Reality starts to sink in like an oppressive fog as the larger man sits up and turns to him. Rough hands come up to pull off the blanket and then gently touch Kihyun's shoulder, prompting him to lay down.

Shownu kneels down beside him. Kihyun is now laying down on the blanket, eyes wide, feeling like someone just sat on his chest.

_What is this? What the hell did I just agree to..._

Neither can seem to bring themselves to look at the other. But somehow this just keeps happening all the same.

As Kihyun focuses on how the firelight is touching the undersides of the branches all the way up the tree, the other's fingers brush his clothed hips making him jump.

Then Shownu is tugging the hem of his shirt out from his pants and jerkily fumbling to undo the first button.

Somehow, with that, a cold sweat sets in for Kihyun real quick.

“N-no stop! Wait, _wait_ …”

Shownu obediently stops, pulling his hands back to rest against his heavy thighs.

A pause, heavy, hangs in the air. The fire crackles and spits. Kihyun can feel the blood pounding in his ears.

“Is that a hard no or a soft one? 'Cause I will back off if you want me to... but you have to tell me.”

Kihyun sees that he’s serious. Just waiting.

 _Why can I never read his eyes?_ he suddenly wonders. It's concerning. But any other worries are fast being overridden by pain and now... arousal.

"S-soft, I think..."

"Y'sure? Don't lie to me."

There's a deep glint in his eyes that makes Kihyun's hair stand up. Shownu's hands tighten on his pants as he waits. 

"I'm sure," Kihyun realizes at the same time as he hears himself say it out loud.

_I don't know why, but I need this..._

"Well alright then," he hears and Shownu leans back in to undo his pants.

+++++

This all leads to Shownu helping him jack off, with a firm, warm hand wrapped around Kihyun's small, pink cock, both of them still fully clothed. Neither should have agreed to this. Shownu should have just given him a couple of drags of tobacco and called it a night. And Kihyun should have pushed him away. Foolishly, neither did that and now instead they're staring at each other, trying to understand why the other is allowing this to happen.

Of course, it's too dry, the drag is far too rough, and Kihyun can't get it up all the way. There's just too much pain all over him for anything to happen here, even though he doesn't say so out loud or stop the other.

When a whimper that is obviously not from pleasure escapes from his mouth accidentally, Shownu immediately freezes and pulls his hands away. 

After thinking while observing Kihyun’s panting, pained face, he makes a sudden silent decision with himself and moves his body down the blanket. 

And before Kihyun can even get out at -

"Wait. What are you-"

That's how Kihyun ends up getting sucked down for the first time in his life by Shownu's warm, wet mouth in the middle of the deserted woods outside of Orphir.

He doesn't understand how they got here.

The slide of that heavy, wet tongue over his raw member is so sudden and powerful of a sensation his whole body jerks, and for a second he sees stars over the actual night sky of stars above him. When he comes back to, he can barely handle how good it feels. 

At some point he's faintly aware that one of Shownu's large, firm hands has snuck under his shirt and is softly stroking the skin of his stomach, making it goosebump, but he's so floored by the overwhelming feelings in his body - he can't think about anything else.

This feels like nothing he's ever felt before. It ends up blocking everything else out.

He forgets that he doesn't even know this man.

He forgets that they're strangers.

He forgets that they're both men.

He even forgets that he was shot. What pain?

All he can think is, _God, this feeling._

Shownu has no idea that the smaller man under him is, at twenty-six years old, or _was_ still very much a virgin. No one has ever even chastely pressed their lips to his, let alone wrapped their wet, hungry mouth around him and swallowed him down like this. It's a perverted turn of events. Something like this never should've happened.

It is unfamiliar and out of character for both of them.

 _I must be dreaming_ , Kihyun can’t help but think fleetingly, breath hitching up, _this isn't real._

He can feel the heat rolling off of the fire, every pass of the other's soft, firm lips over his sensitive skin, and embarrassingly, he can hear his own moans echoing back from the trees. 

_Is that what I sound like?_

But he's so close now.

It doesn't take longer than a minute before Kihyun's loudest moan echoes into the silence, and warm liquid coats the inside of Shownu's mouth. 

Drunk on his own arousal, Shownu doesn't even think before he leans his body back up and swallows it down, licking his lips.

It tastes salty and makes him feel heady.

Once he wipes his face with his handkerchief, he can fully take in the figure under him in the aftermath.

Kihyun's eyes are closed, a droplet each running down from the corner of his eyes. He's still breathing hard, coming down from the high, neck and face flushed red.

_He looks so..._

Shownu suddenly has to smother down the feeling of wanting to wrench more from this poor, injured, woefully naive man.

Instead, he wipes the other's now limp cock clean, making him shudder, and gently tucks him back into his pants. Then with a large sigh, he lays himself down next to him as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

The moment after feels surreal for both of them.

As Kihyun feels the blanket being pulled over them, he lets his consciousness start to slip away gradually.

The last sensation he remembers feeling is a warm shoulder brushing against his own.

It was an exhausting day so before long he is fast asleep.

+++++

That night, Kihyun has a dream he'll never forget.

He dreams that they're standing together, naked in dark, deep river water. Shownu is holding his back against his chest and the contrast of frigid mountain water below and burning flesh around and behind him is overwhelming.

Strangely, it doesn't feel wrong.

It feels...natural.

_Right._

They just stand there letting the currents swirl and lick around them for what feels like ages until Kihyun hears him whisper in his ear -

"I saw you, you know."

_What?_

"In the river that night. I saw everything."

Kihyun's skin goosebumps and he catches his breath and -

\- then wakes up, alone sprawled on the bedroll, sweating. 

Whatever last night was -

_There's no going back to how things were before now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insurance claims for health conditions acquired or heart attacks experienced as a result of reading this chapter can be mailed to this address:  
> W. Kitt  
> 6969 Pleasure Way  
> Apologies, SD XXXXX
> 
> Please allow 5 business days of processing time.
> 
> In a way, this happening makes perfect sense. But in all other ways, including, uh, reality, it makes absolutely no sense. Kind of like a riddle! Why did the cowboy end up guilting himself into using his mouth on this stranger? Why did the little stranger let an unknown man he met a week ago do that to him? Hmmmmm, guess we'll find out....!  
> P.S. - I love you guys' reactions. Keeps me inspired. Thanks for readin'!

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/)  
>  This work is licensed under a [Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/).


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